Monday, March 14, 2011


Dinner has been on the porch lately. Pretty much every night! The weather has been gorgeous!!
TinyV falls widly off his little stool and KinderA bursts into a fit of laughter. WE all get quiet. Even the other boys are surprised by his outburst. As i snuggle TinyV I talk to KinderA about his choice and decide to BUDDY him up with TinyV for the remainder of the evening. He helps him throughout dinner, he helps him upstairs for bath. He helped him with his jammies!! He was incridbly sweet! I told him that he was being such a wonderful BIG Brother. He "read" him several stories as they snuggled on the toddler bed.

Now I simply just love buddying them up! I did it on Saturday at the birthday party. And i reminded them about their buddies on Sunday as we played the day away.


ON Facebook the other day I asked several mommies about how they make it work? Especially focusing on mommies of 3 or more. Now I want to share with you a post by my wonderful friend and foster/adoptive mom Christine. SHe describes her buddy system in point 2.


Thank you Rachel for this opportunity to share what works for me as a single mom of 5.

1. I keep my faith strong. I pray my way thru EVERY DAY. Even the good one's. I ask God for peace and guidance in directing His children in the way He wants them led. I joined a weekly Ladies Bible Study.

2. We have a territory/partner chart posted where it is well seen. On the top are my older 3 children's names. Underneath is their partner's names (twin M, twin R and mom). Under that is their assigned areas to sit in the mornings for devotions. Under that are 2 cards. Each one lists the areas in our home and the expected chores in those area. I rotate the cards under their names weekly. This way they get a new partner, a new devotion location and can learn all the chores expected of them in our home. Plus, it keeps down boredom of them doing the same thing over and over again.

3. Me and my older3 monthly play a game related to behaviors. For example, monthly I make 2 faces. Feb. was (yellow-smiley) CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE ME! and (white-frown) Don't choose thee! Don't choose thee! I put in several behaviors (put God first, listen, be helpful, be rude, etc). ALWAYS HAVE MORE POSITIVE THAN NEGATIVE. Then, we play war. Whoever wins the hand, gets to pick out a behavior. We discuss it. In the end, we count up who picked out of the bowl more positive than negative. They may get an extra small piece of candy. We tape them on the correct face while recapping what we learned. Then, they are all hung up on one wall. This month will be TO BE or NOT TO BE.

4. If you have several children that need help with homework @ the same time or just to keep some order, set up centers and get the rotation started. So the toddler do not feel left out, make sure you include them. You can read them a book during THEIR time. This way, you get accomplished what you need to and they all get some one on one time with you.

5. Stay as organized as you can. Kids in school should have their backpacks in one area and everything needed for that day inside. Outfits should be picked out the night before and that includes socks and shoes. REMEMBER, IT IS OK FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO DO THIS EVEN IF THEIR CLOTHES DO NOT MATCH.

6. I prepare dinner nightly. I also have EASY back up meals too (like oatmeal). Most importantly, even if I have a meal planned and my children want me to take a break from cooking (and no this is not bc I can not cook, lol), I let them have their way. I feel this is my way of acknowledging their kindness and thoughtfulness for me.

7. I am a single mom of 5. A 10 yo male, 9 yo female, soon to be 8 yo female and 2 1/2 twin boys. This is very much a challenge. However, even harder than this is something I have had a very hard time doing but have learned it is very beneficial and that is WHEN YOU NEED HELP (OR EVEN JUST A BREAK) ASK FOR IT! It does not make you weak. It actually allows you to regroup to be the best mom you can be. Your children will benefit from it greatly too!

Thank you again Rachel for this opportunity. I pray we all continue to learn from each other as we take care of God's children.

Be blessed. ☺

Parent Relationships

Im the foster mommy. The ones who cares for the children who are not with their biological mommy. You can see why it might be easy for the mommy to "hate" me. I have their children! It is also very easy for foster mommies like me to get very emotionally when we find out about what these children have gone through. So right there we can all plainly see how a relationship between foster and biological parents come off to a rocky start!!

I CHOOSE to meet the familes. I attend staffing meetings. I go to court. I have even dropped off children for a family visit. Right now I am blessed to have a talking relationship with the mother and father of my KinderA and Little T.

I want to show these children, right in front of them, that we communicate and even at times laugh! Its not about me. I'm sure mommy and daddy have to put aside a few emotions when they hear their baby call me mommy... But for their(child)sake we Both smile. We continue to allow the children to grow and feel safe.

I don't know what is going to happen with this current case. Do we ever, until the last minute?

Like I said the aforementioned relationship is blessed!! What kind of relationships have you had with familes?