TinyV falls widly off his little stool and KinderA bursts into a fit of laughter. WE all get quiet. Even the other boys are surprised by his outburst. As i snuggle TinyV I talk to KinderA about his choice and decide to BUDDY him up with TinyV for the remainder of the evening. He helps him throughout dinner, he helps him upstairs for bath. He helped him with his jammies!! He was incridbly sweet! I told him that he was being such a wonderful BIG Brother. He "read" him several stories as they snuggled on the toddler bed.
Now I simply just love buddying them up! I did it on Saturday at the birthday party. And i reminded them about their buddies on Sunday as we played the day away.
I LOVE IT!
ON Facebook the other day I asked several mommies about how they make it work? Especially focusing on mommies of 3 or more. Now I want to share with you a post by my wonderful friend and foster/adoptive mom Christine. SHe describes her buddy system in point 2.
Thank you Rachel for this opportunity to share what works for me as a single mom of 5.
1. I keep my faith strong. I pray my way thru EVERY DAY. Even the good one's. I ask God for peace and guidance in directing His children in the way He wants them led. I joined a weekly Ladies Bible Study.
2. We have a territory/partner chart posted where it is well seen. On the top are my older 3 children's names. Underneath is their partner's names (twin M, twin R and mom). Under that is their assigned areas to sit in the mornings for devotions. Under that are 2 cards. Each one lists the areas in our home and the expected chores in those area. I rotate the cards under their names weekly. This way they get a new partner, a new devotion location and can learn all the chores expected of them in our home. Plus, it keeps down boredom of them doing the same thing over and over again.
3. Me and my older3 monthly play a game related to behaviors. For example, monthly I make 2 faces. Feb. was (yellow-smiley) CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE ME! and (white-frown) Don't choose thee! Don't choose thee! I put in several behaviors (put God first, listen, be helpful, be rude, etc). ALWAYS HAVE MORE POSITIVE THAN NEGATIVE. Then, we play war. Whoever wins the hand, gets to pick out a behavior. We discuss it. In the end, we count up who picked out of the bowl more positive than negative. They may get an extra small piece of candy. We tape them on the correct face while recapping what we learned. Then, they are all hung up on one wall. This month will be TO BE or NOT TO BE.
4. If you have several children that need help with homework @ the same time or just to keep some order, set up centers and get the rotation started. So the toddler do not feel left out, make sure you include them. You can read them a book during THEIR time. This way, you get accomplished what you need to and they all get some one on one time with you.
5. Stay as organized as you can. Kids in school should have their backpacks in one area and everything needed for that day inside. Outfits should be picked out the night before and that includes socks and shoes. REMEMBER, IT IS OK FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO DO THIS EVEN IF THEIR CLOTHES DO NOT MATCH.
6. I prepare dinner nightly. I also have EASY back up meals too (like oatmeal). Most importantly, even if I have a meal planned and my children want me to take a break from cooking (and no this is not bc I can not cook, lol), I let them have their way. I feel this is my way of acknowledging their kindness and thoughtfulness for me.
7. I am a single mom of 5. A 10 yo male, 9 yo female, soon to be 8 yo female and 2 1/2 twin boys. This is very much a challenge. However, even harder than this is something I have had a very hard time doing but have learned it is very beneficial and that is WHEN YOU NEED HELP (OR EVEN JUST A BREAK) ASK FOR IT! It does not make you weak. It actually allows you to regroup to be the best mom you can be. Your children will benefit from it greatly too!
Thank you again Rachel for this opportunity. I pray we all continue to learn from each other as we take care of God's children.
Be blessed. ☺
I pray my experiences help other parents. I also wanted to add to the list bc many have asked additional questions and concerns come my way.
ReplyDelete1. In regards to the buddy system- You can start as early as possible. If you are an extended family, I would split up siblings and those who share a room. They will start their bonds on their own. You really want your children to mingle. Oh and also IT DOES NOT MEAN THE OLDEST GETS STUCK WITH THE YOUNGEST! I know many do this but this is not always successful. For younger children make sure they know what being a good partner means.
2. Charts are good but my children do not read yet- This is simple. Make a picture chart. If they are to help with dishes, post a picture of dishes. Folding laundry, etc. the same. Just remember by them knowing where it is posted and knowing what it means for them is also building their confidence and independence. It may take a little time of reminding them but after a while it will become part of their routine.
3. My children go with their other parent on the weekend- I have never been married and do not deal with this. However, TIME SPENT ON YOUR CHILDREN IS NEVER A WASTE OF TIME! If you can, speak to the other parent and share your ideas. If they decide to do this in their home, GREAT! If not, remember, for your kids sake you must do it in yours. It may seem like you are not the fun parent but I rather it seem like that than my children enter adulthood with no skills and true understanding of life.
4. I have tried to stay organized but it does not seem to work- TRY HARDER! STICK TO IT! KEEP IT SIMPLE! A lot of people think a week is too much time to try to stay organized. However, being organized and the upkeep takes less time than trying to manage your way @ life. That only equals stress. In addition, you do not have to purchase any fancy, expensive, organizing items. When I was fostering I had those in foster care information in a binder. I also had a binder for my forever children. Now that I am no longer fostering and have adopted my twins, I just added them to my older 3's binder. I have copies of their documents. Should something happen to me, all their information is in that binder. I simply bought a binder and sheet protectors. Each one has a sheet that lists all their doctors and surgeries. I did this on a word program. Life books are Trapper Keepers. Simple, easy to maintain and did not cost a lot @ all.
5. I do not like asking for help- TRUST ME I UNDERSTAND! However, you simply have to. This year I have had some medical challenges. So asking for help was not even an option. I think God allows these things to happen so we truly understand the need to ask. It makes you stronger bc you understand yourself and your limits. Plus, being a parent always brings new challenges. This is not saying have someone else raise your children. It simply means it is ok to ask for help and know your children benefit from your break as well.
6. I am not creative- I hear this all time. However, kids want fun. So glue, cutting out some pics, finger painting, etc. is simple but fun to them. Plus, kids are creative too. So why not ask them what they want to do and I bet you may learn a thing or two from them.
Well, that is all for now. Thank you again Rachel for this opportunity.
Be blessed. Ms. Unique ☺