Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Emphasize Forever

Last week a case manager(social worker) and I were chatting around the island in my kitchen. She is hoping to become a foster parent in the near future.

I love hearing that.

She asked me what was the number one thing to remember when raising teens. First of all, I have never raised a teen from birth. I have cared for and loved on three teen girls. Two, which presently live with me. I have a combined 12 months of parenting teens experience! That being said I understand why you might take what I have to say with a grain of salt.

I have learned so much in this short time. The one thing that stands out to me most is the essence of forever. Foster children have a very limited view of unconditional love. When the going gets tough they are moved. When they are labeled with ADHD, they are moved. When they run away, foster homes might not take them back. Knowing this, I have realized that talking in terms of the future and forever are vitally important.

“For your sixteenth birthday we should take a trip to the beach.”

“What do you want to do for Spring Break next year?”

“What kind of dress do you want to wear to your prom?”

Any comment that takes the child into YOUR future reinforces stability. Giving a child a foundation for trust makes it so much easier to build a relationship! Relationships include hundreds of factors, but without a forever foundation it is near impossible.


  1. Rach - this is so good! And it makes so much sense. I hope lots of people take these ideas to heart AND put them to use!

  2. You are a daughter to be proud of. PoppaJake is a wonderful addition to our family!!